Chemo: Round 3!!!

Hey y’all!!! I can’t believe I’m done with round 3 of chemo!! 25% done!!! Whoop whoop!!! Round 3 went smoothly and I enjoyed my time with my mom throughout treatment. Days after treatment are still pretty rough for me. This post is a little bit deeper, just talking about some of my recent side effects of chemo so far. I wanted to share because it would be silly to cover up all the hardships I’ve experienced. So here’s to being honest and sharing my truth!!

Me with my Chemo :)

You have control of your attitude:

When my doctor told me she thought I had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, my grandma called me and she told me that there’s not much I will have control of during this process but that I will certainly have control over my attitude. My grandma is a breast cancer survivor and her words really stuck with me as this journey progressed.

I’ve had some tough days recently, dealing with fatigue and my body not feeling the same as it did when I was swimming 4 hours a day in college. It has been hard for me to be proud of myself just for walking around the neighborhood. But, that’s the most I could do that day.

Also, I’ve been experiencing the dreaded but expected hair loss. It’s been extremely hard watching my hair thin out piece by piece. As a woman, it seems as though your hair is a huge part of your identity and I’m beyond scared of when the time comes to cut it.

Both of these have been very hard to say the least. I’ve had my moments where I sit and cry and let it all out. I’m here to say that feeling these emotions is OK. You need to let yourself get out these emotions so they don’t bottle up inside of you. The Lord hears our cries and delivers us from our worries. “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.” (Psalm 34:17). God wants us to cry out to Him and let Him into our lives, even when it’s hard.

However, there is a point where you have to control your mind, thoughts, and attitude. Our mind is so powerful and what we speak holds the power of life and death. “The tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21). It’s up to us to choose life, to choose to speak of the goodness of God. Although this is the hardest journey I have ever gone through, there is so much good God has shown me and there are so many reasons to praise Him. Even through the this dark valley, He is working and He is teaching me so much. Choosing to look at the positives includes looking at His goodness and praising Him for His glorious works.

Back to what my Grandma told me, “you have control of your attitude”. No matter what hits me fatigue, nausea, hair loss I’m going to make the best of the situation. I’m going to choose to fall back on God’s words that “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). No side effect is going to change my love for the Lord or my positivity. And no matter what happens, He choose me for such a time as this and I’m going to make the most of everything I do for His honor and glory alone.

I have one more chemo then I get my second PET scan to see how much of my cancer has gone away. My 4th chemo is May 15th and my PET scan is May 24th. Things are definitely moving forward!! Thank you for all the love, encouragement, and prayers. I’m so grateful for everyone who has been there for me throughout this journey.

Even during the hardest of times, there is always a reason to smile 😊

Grace